Resurrected Dreams

Fourteen years ago Martin and I spent the summer in Mongolia as short term missionaries for an organization called Change the World.  We thought we could help “change the world” that summer by loving on orphaned children but instead God began changing us by giving us a heart for the nations.  We were so stirred up after that trip that we began praying about becoming full-time missionaries through our church.  We began the application process but at the same time were also trying to get pregnant.  I was worried and fearful about being sent as a missionary to a foreign country and giving birth to our children there.  My dream was to be a mother but day after day I continued to feel a deep desire for the nations.  I wrestled with the Lord for months as we filled out all the paperwork for foreign missions.  Finally I felt the Lord ask me to simply “lay down my Isaac” and just surrender and trust Him.  So I did.  I said, “Lord, I am Yours.  I’ll have kids wherever You send us.”  Because ultimately I wanted to be where He wanted us!  Not long after I surrendered this to the Lord we got pregnant!  Then, we found out a few months later that we were having twins!  In the midst of telling our families we were pregnant with twins, it was difficult to also tell them we planned to move overseas after they were born.  Our families were so supportive but it was hard for them to envision us living so far away with two small babies.  We continued making plans for foreign missions and then I went into preterm labor at 22 weeks and ended up giving birth at 26 weeks.  Sadly, because of the twins' premature birth and Brexton's subsequent brain damage we knew moving overseas was no longer an option for us. The dream of traveling as a family to foreign places and taking the Good News to the nations seemed to die. The door we felt the Lord open seemed to abruptly close.  That dream seemed dead as we ventured into a new life with twins and a special needs son.

Now if I am completely honest, when the Lord told us to “build Brexton’s House” I had no real desire to reach the nations or spread the Good News.  I simply wanted to honor the memory of our precious son.  In the midst of our grief, having his name on something helped comfort my hurting heart.  It wasn’t until recently that the Lord took me back to those memories from 14 years ago.  This is what He spoke to my heart early one morning:

“I gave you a heart for the nations all those years ago.  I asked you to surrender and trust Me when you didn’t understand how it would all work out.  And then through Brexton’s birth that dream seemed to die.  Now My beloved, here we are 14 years later and you are impacting the nations through Brexton’s House. And through Brexton’s death the dream was actually resurrected!”

I sat speechless as He deposited this deep truth into my heart that morning.  Friends, it’s time we call forth the resurrection of dreams that seem dead and buried. He has the power to RESURRECT all things.  Let’s stand together and declare in this season the truth of John 11:11…that what seemed to be dead was only sleeping and Jesus is going to wake them up!  We don’t have to understand the HOW…we need only to believe it is possible!